By David Oppenheim, Douglas F. Goldsmith
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Additional info for Attachment Theory in Clinical Work with Children: Bridging the Gap between Research and Practice
Without such 38 CLINICAL USE OF ATTACHMENT RESEARCH ASSESSMENTS expectations, and without his mother’s belief that he has positive personal qualities, Tom is likely to find it difficult to develop representations of the self as worthwhile and capable of achieving positive goals. An additional feature in Anna’s speech was her difficulty in accepting Tom as a separate person with behaviors or needs that are different from her own. She compared Tom’s behaviors to her own and found his behavior disappointing: “He ripped up the whole house when he got frustrated.
Comment: In attempting to frame the clinical situation for the mother, I tried to do several things. First, implicitly, I conveyed simultaneously that the mother was justified in seeking help, and also that help was available. Second, by restating the central issue as one of not being able to enjoy her baby rather than one of whether she or the baby is doing the right thing, I attempted to redirect her efforts away from her conflicted, achievement oriented way of understanding her dilemma. This suggests that the metric for remediation should be her experience of being with the baby rather than specific interactive behaviors.
I guess every mother must feel that way about her baby. That, you know, you wish you could protect them from everything. Comment: It is completely expectable for a mother to want to protect her child from suffering. ” The profundity of the mother’s sadness and anxiety are reflected in this lament. I sensed a genuine feeling of hopelessness. Although this might have reflected something of a depression within the mother, it also suggested that her representation of Daniel was colored with sadness and disappointment—that it was, in fact, part of her experience of him.